good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
smell my finger.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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