Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
