You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
