i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
