I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
smell my finger.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
