My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
