I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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