I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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