mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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