i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
