I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
