You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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