Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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