i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
