I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
