then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
