why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
