it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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