Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
