is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
