I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
