oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize