ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
