Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
