He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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