all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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