508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
