You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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