Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so explain again why im purple
no
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
