Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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