Got a toothbrush?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
