I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
