You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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