I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
