I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
