i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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