yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
