Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
