Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
