I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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