some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
