just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
why do cheetos always look like penises
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
