If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
