I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
