remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
