Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
