he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
