bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
