Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
