I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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