God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
