I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
